The first time we kissed there were sparks like fireflies all around. That's one of the saddest parts of living in this high mountain Paradis-Bolgia (thank you Dante), no fireflies here to watch from the porch or run around and play catch and release. They truly are a wonder of this world.

And a KISS! A kiss that reminds a man of fireflies should be cherished; it is joy, it is contentment, it is the childlike absorbtion of the mind in one singular sensation. How could anyone ever say that that is wrong just because in this case it happens to include same-sex attraction? I think it's the people who've never experienced that kiss that hate the love people of the world show to each other, gay straight or something else entirely.

I keep coming back to that kiss. It was not just an instance of lips touching lips. It was a full body movement, it included every muscle and bone. It had the whole of my world wrapped up in it. It was one of those moments. If a comet had fallen from the sky and killed me then and there when I stood locked with your body in the beginnings of love where only beauty existed...I would have had no regrets and nothing greater to want.

It is moments like this that keep me from moving to a high mountain monastery, taking a vow of celibacy, and never speaking again. It is that piece of the beauty of the world that I am looking for every time I look in the eyes of a man on a date. When I see into someone else I hope that they contain that same spark, that same alchemy that I've experienced before. It is those perfect happy moments that make all the hair pulling frustration of dating worth it.

You can only be as sad after a relationship as you have been happy in it. It's so dangerous. How can one resist? Man could be the only animal that does things that hurts him on purpose. Or, it could be he knows from some experience or Jungian superconcious that the joy and the pain go together, and you can't have one without the other. Which is why I choose to feel the full extent of the pain, and the full extent of the pleasure. Life is beautiful.