To Terra-form

There is something in your visage
in the angle of your jaw and beard
the points of your mouth when you laugh
in your scrunched up eyes when you smile
that still calls my name. (or is that a hallucination?)

I reckon my life with you as the start
of the newest one, the one I'm not settled in.
I don't blame you anymore, there is no blame.
The only thing to be had in its place is peace.
But that's not as easy as hallucinating you, again.

And this is another fossil of feeling.
Maybe they are better left buried - fuck.
leave them underground until they're old enough
to be used to fuel something else, to terra-form
and use you as another beginning, and another end.