Breaking My Own Rules

And now my chest smells of his cum,
and my hand smells of his taint,
and he's gone home to sleep alone,
letting other people dictate how he feels,
how he should live a life of fear.

I know I should leave him alone.
I know I shouldn’t let him fall in that seductive way.
But, I won't, and it's a very simple why.
I could love him if he would let me.
I've said that many times before.

He won't go, and if he doesn't go,
maybe he'll be mine.

I could love him if he would love me.
Tell me that secret, whisper in my ear that I am not alone -
that I am not the only one feeling all this emotion.

I could love him if he would let me.
But, love seems to be some fleeting thing.
I have found it under rocks, in streams,
everywhere slowly flitting away.
It cannot be held, it is quicksilver.
It is the alchemical element that was never tested.
I could love him if he'd let me.

Your Secret Name

I wish now I could feel more numb
and forget how gentle feels again.
You awoke a sensation I didn’t know
had not died along with past things,
relationships, failed enterprises.
I fear your downfall, the Tower
you represent. Babel must be
your secret name. When you
are gone, I will be speaking
in tongues, dreaming in some
unknown universe.

You're Half The Man I Was

I believe I could be made of dreams
and you're half the man I was when
I was your age trying to become
everything I thought I wanted, now
I know it's better to believe than
to have anything you've wished for.
I haven't seen the movie you were making
back when we talked every day.
But, I'm sure it was good.
Sometimes I think this heart
was made to regret the best of times.
And, I want things that no one could make
despite all attempts to reclaim our
innocence we've only found some
new ways to hurt.

(You Are) Drinking Me Like Wine

You've never really been
beating your heart up again
for everything it lacks
the way it was made
I don't know why you fight it still

I will not be
the place you can
recover again
I'm tired of
everyone thinking I'm
the only answer
they can speak

There's another iron
the fire didn't spit out
are you ready to retreat?
I've been changing all
the locks on my heart

I can not be
what you think
it is you need
another soul
I don't know
drinking me like wine
"Maybe this time"
probably not.

Summer Air

The twist of Summer air
meeting Autumn mid-month.
Drink some coffee,
watch the leaves turn dead.
Slow air is a torture,
at Persephone's depart.
Like love abandoned,
but necessary.
Hold emotions at
arms length.
The only music to hear
has drifted away.
The wind chimes have
all decayed.
The twist of Summer air,
an exhale of life.

Silent Movie

His tears were the taste of a silent movie
and holding them in my hand I began to
see my way through the haze and smoke
of his old, leather heart.  He only wished
to find someone to love, like me.

But, his black and white visage spoke
in words I could not read on his heart.
Mine is too broken to see that far.
Eyes beholding only sad dreams,
bitter pills, numbing agents, flames.

Exploritas Corpus

If you’d given me a month
I’d proven it to you.
Every part of you,
I know with perfect truth.
Exploritas Corpus

Now, I want something
that I never had.
You’re not gone, but
you’re missing from my bed.
Exploritas Corpus

Your hands, your lips, your heart.
Exploritas Corpus

I miss every piece of you...
Exploritas Corpus