Success

I have decided to live in a way in which success is inevitable.  This is the only way to live, for me.  Other people get by living in ways in which they are protected from failure.  I have no problem with the little failures that get in the way, they do not scare me or stop me from moving forward.

When I say success I mean it in so many different facets of life.  Perhaps for most it means monetarily, and that is one piece of it, certainly.  But, there are so many different pieces to life that to focus just on that one just feels short sited.

I want to be successful in love, too.  I want to be able to keep an open heart.  Wiser for my failures - there's no reason to repeat the mistakes of the past or be taken advantage of - but still able to trust and give and receive love.

I want to be successful in friendship.  To have and keep good friends by offering all the kindness in my heart and sharing the bounty I partake of.

It is clear, I have failed in these things in the past, and likely will in the future, but ultimately I will be successful.

Bankrupt

Looking
for a fuck, put
your money
where your mouth is.

Or, I'll go bankrupt
with a hard-on,
still searching for
a man.

I'm still tired
from last year.
It's been ages
and I can't count that high.

Let Heathcliff In

It feels quite peculiar
elegant in some way.
Books about storms
and your bubble breaks
to let Heathcliff in.

It's not the same this time.

The road is well traveled
by all the seasons changing.
Half-hearted love remarks
and you're mostly blind
to literary references.

It's not the same this time.

Is it that you don't need a heart?
Better be all lead and lost than
pretend you never had a part.

And, me I'm of different stock.
I only know nothing changes
when you can't stay the same.

A new name, a sort-of-but-not-really new look, new and different stuff to be posted.

It occurs to me that there are things missing.  Things I think that never get out.  For most people that seems perfectly fine.  I'm sure I could learn to live with it.  But, I don't really want to.  Nor do I have to.

I want to share the strange things I see.  The other night I was at the bar and spent a couple of hours staring at the pool table trying to figure out how to hit one ball and put them all in a pocket. No, seriously, I spend hours on this shit.  Most people suspect this is how my brain works, few people see that it's undeniably true that I am a neurotic half-Jew who should have a room next to the Rain Man some days.

I think I need to get over the narcissism inherent in blogging.  I've never had a problem with being a narcissist before.  It's probably a good thing that I'm worrying about it, even if I'll ignore it.  And, if it annoys me I'll just put some concrete shoes on it and toss it in the river all mafia style.

Some inheritance from Adam
of serotonin flowing like mud
- a craving for a drug.
And, like chromosomes
still seen by science
a microscope, DNA
sequenced in absence of proof
of Hebraic certainties.
I do not know where
this thing comes from.
Or, why I can only take a pill,
spill some wine, feel a body.
Now I dream of a cure.

To Stand Amongst Mountains

To stand amongst mountains,
and conquer their awe
where man has yet to take fully his hold.

And, beasts, their eyes brown,
and shoulders taller than a man
live through high winters.

There are slow movements in the trees,
green for their short time
in the altitude's truncated summers.

There is air that modern man does not know.
Still I would breathe it,
in those granite temples.

That I Am With You

I used to envy stars
in their loneliness.
I found some solace
in knowing they
survived alone.
But, now with you,
I know the stars and comets
live half a life,
though it is measured in millenia.
I have few words left,
so like the hermits in their spheres
the only thing I know to do
is to exist,
but I am lucky;
I get to do it with you.