False Gravity

We were older then,
maybe sadder now.
False gravity said
we don’t know what
where we’re standing.
Now, you’re waiting
for the world to end,
and I’m just watching
waiting for your will
to bend.

Hope some love finds
your heart is not a stone.
I doubt the pain can ever
overcome the feeling of alone.
You will sit and wonder why you’re
never satisfied, with all the lives
that you will find.

Like Them

I saw the boys of Summer,
smoking on their cigarettes.

Their bare, smooth skin is
a parchment yet to be tainted.

And I, something different,
wonder if I could share their
smooth lips for a moment.

Let them blow their smoke
in my mouth, and taste the ash
still left upon their lips.

I always wanted to be a god
among men, but I will never
be anything like them.

I was Tantalus

When your heart has beat the new rhythm
(I have heard they all beat in the same time)
and the colors of the world change,
weather patterns shift, destiny flashes its lie before you
then you will believe
in the only thing that will teach you how to bleed.

I know, because I have been weak.
I know, because I fell from my own grace.
I know, because the colors have never been the same.
I know, because often I am still in pain and dizzy
from the blood loss, the sleep lost, the nights of
howling and coughing up regrets.

I have been suppressing feelings under old chemicals,
waiting for the next shift of my perspective to prove
to me that I am not what I think I am (a lonely fool,
doomed by my genetics to a short life, a lack of love,
knowing too much).

I used to think this unobtainable
would make me strong.  When the glass was held to
my lips, I knew I was Tantalus, and I was ready to be
thirsty for eternity.  But, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Dentric Gaze (Under a Japanese Oak)

The Japanese Oak stood pink and blooming
waiting for another taste of photons and
dreams of immortality from writers under
its light branches.  I hope that it judges me
kindly, having seen and heard more then
I’ve ever thought a living being would.
The chairs have eyes, but no life.
Am I the only one who hopes that
living our lives under dentric gaze
means we are not alone?

Forget the Words

When he hides what I used to hide
and keeps a watchful eye on me,
because he knows I know,
I wonder if he feels any pain
or if he has forgotten how to bleed.

When you sleep too long, and too deep
(is this just a coma of the soul?)
nothing feels right for days, and him?
I fear the years he will have to wake
up to find are all wrong.

Could I kiss him?  Take that moment
and give him some simple surety
that he is not alone or wrong?
Everyone else knows, and they’ve told him.
But, I will tell him with my mouth.

Forget the words.

I am Sure

You would think that
after this any years I would
know something, have something
to show for all my time spent alone.
There is still a secret
I cannot seem to tease out,
it sits like a pebble in the soul of my soul.
Goddamn all this love,
I am sure it comes from an old lover.
I am sure I still love him.